What Happens When You Reach Out?

For many families, the holiday season is a time of connection and celebration. But for others, it can bring an increased risk of domestic, family and sexual violence (DFSV). Financial pressure, crowded households, alcohol use, disrupted routines and heightened emotional expectations can all escalate tensions. With workplaces, schools and some support services closing or operating at reduced capacity, people experiencing violence may feel more isolated, with fewer chances to seek help making this time of year particularly dangerous.

What happens when you reach out and why so many find it hard to make the call

For people experiencing domestic, family or sexual violence, help is available 24 hours a day, yet making that first call can feel overwhelming. In the Hawkesbury, as in communities across Australia, services such as 1800RESPECT, Link2Home, Men’s Line Australia, Lifeline and 000 exist to provide immediate support, safety and connection.

Social worker Sonya Parker, who has worked extensively in the field of family and interpersonal violence, says fear is often the biggest barrier.

“We need to remember that mobile phones can be traced and mirrored,” Ms Parker said. “For many people, even searching online or making a call to find out what help is available can feel incredibly risky.”

“There is often a very real fear of retribution if the person they are afraid of finds out they are looking into support services or planning to leave,” she said.

Understanding what actually happens when you reach out and why fear so often gets in the way can make it easier to take that first step.

What happens when you call 1800RESPECT

Calling 1800RESPECT connects you with a trained counsellor who specialises in domestic, family and sexual violence. The service is free, confidential and available by phone, text or online chat, 24 hours a day.

You don’t need to have the “right words”. The counsellor will listen at your pace and may ask gentle questions to understand your situation and check whether you are safe right now. You can remain anonymous if you choose, and you don’t have to make any decisions during the call.

Some people simply need to talk. Others want practical options, such as safety planning, information about their rights, or referrals to local services including health care, counselling, legal support or crisis accommodation. Importantly, the counsellor’s role is not to judge or pressure you, but to support you and respect your choices.

What happens when you call Link2Home

Link2Home (1800 152 152) is the NSW-wide homelessness information and referral service. If violence has made your housing unsafe, Link2Home can assess your situation and connect you with crisis accommodation or longer-term housing options.

You will be asked where you are, whether you are safe, and what your immediate needs are. While demand can be high, the service exists to help people navigate a system that can otherwise feel overwhelming during crisis.

Men’s Line Australia and Lifeline

Men’s Line Australia (1300 789 978) offers free counselling for men dealing with relationship issues, family violence including men who are victims parenting stress or emotional distress. Calls are confidential, and support is also available online.

Lifeline (13 11 14) provides 24/7 crisis support for anyone feeling overwhelmed, distressed or at risk. You don’t need to be suicidal to call. Sometimes, talking through the moment is enough to help someone get through the night.

When to call 000

If you are in immediate danger, call 000. Police and emergency services can respond quickly to protect life and safety. Many people worry that calling emergency services will automatically make things worse. In reality, the priority is to keep people safe in that moment and connect them with appropriate support.

Why people are afraid to call

Despite the availability of support services, many people delay or avoid reaching out.

“It can take many attempts before someone is able to leave a violent or controlling relationship,” Ms Parker said. “People are often preparing psychologically for a long time before they take that step to take back control of their lives.”

She said what can appear as hesitation is often a survival strategy.

“From the outside it might look like someone isn’t ready or isn’t trying, but in reality they are planning, weighing risks and doing what they need to stay safe,” she said.

People may fear they won’t be believed, especially if the abuse doesn’t fit common stereotypes. Others fear judgement, shame, child protection involvement, or the impact on housing, finances or family. For people from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds, Aboriginal communities, people with disability, or those in same-sex relationships, there may also be fears based on past discrimination or lack of culturally safe support.

Practical barriers matter too. An abusive partner may monitor phones, control access to money or transport, or make privacy difficult. Trauma itself can also affect memory, decision-making and communication.

A safe first step

For some, a GP can be a safe and familiar first step. GPs can support physical and mental health, document injuries if needed, and connect people to local DFSV services including programs such as Care and Connect without forcing them to take actions they are not ready for.

You are not alone

Reaching out does not mean committing to a particular path. It means having someone on your side. Whether you call once or many times, whether you are seeking information or urgent help, support services understand how difficult that first step can be.

If you or someone you know is experiencing harm, 1800RESPECT offers free, confidential support, 24/7. If you need immediate help, call 000.

Help is available. You deserve to be safe.