Talking about death can be uncomfortable, but experts say having the conversation now could spare families from difficult decisions later.
For many families, death is a subject that can be pushed aside until a serious illness, accident or medical crisis makes it impossible to avoid.
But Dying to Know Day, held nationally on August 8, is encouraging Australians to have those conversations while they still have time to make their wishes known. Coordinated by the non-profit organization Proveda, it aims to improve death literacy, reduce stigma, and encourage people of all ages to openly discuss and plan for death, dying, and end-of-life choices.
The 2026 theme, “Nobody Knows – the secret I’m glad I shared”, focuses on the importance of telling the people closest to us what matters when it comes to future healthcare and end-of-life decisions.
While conversations about death can feel confronting, advance care planning experts say they can ultimately give families greater confidence and reduce the burden of having to guess what a loved one would have wanted.
Advance Care Planning Australia says only 53 per cent of Australians feel comfortable talking with a family member about end-of-life issues.
Its message for Dying to Know Day is simple: if you do not share your wishes, the people who matter most may never know them.
Planning before a crisis -
Advance care planning involves thinking about what is important to you, discussing your wishes with people you trust and documenting your preferences for future healthcare.
It can become particularly important if a person becomes unable to communicate or make decisions for themselves.
Western Sydney Local Health District has been encouraging residents to start those conversations rather than waiting for a medical emergency.
Western Sydney Local Health District End of Life team members Avril Egerton and Talia Gordon describe advance care planning as a way of ensuring a person's voice can still be heard when they are unable to speak for themselves.
“For your estate you have a Will, and for your health you should have advance care planning,” Ms Egerton said.
The process does not necessarily require a lengthy or complicated document.
For some people, it begins with a conversation around the kitchen table, while others may prefer to write down their wishes and discuss them with their doctor or other healthcare professionals.
Others may be curious about joining a local Death Café or attending a Dying to Know Day event – two opportunities to have open, honest conversations about death, dying, grief and the things that matter most at the end of life.
Rather than being morbid, these conversations can help make an inevitable part of life less frightening and ensure families are not left guessing about what their loved ones would have wanted.
Importantly, a plan can be changed as circumstances, health or personal values change.
What would you want?
For Hawkesbury families, the conversation could begin with some relatively simple questions.
Who would you trust to make healthcare decisions if you could not make them yourself?
What treatments would you want – or not want – if you became seriously ill?
Where would you prefer to receive end-of-life care? Would you like to die at home?
What makes life meaningful to you?
Are there cultural, spiritual or personal wishes you would want healthcare workers and family members to understand?
And, perhaps most importantly, does your family actually know the answers?
NSW Government advice says people can make an Advance Care Directive using the NSW Health information and form, another appropriate statement of values and wishes, a written letter or statement, or by clearly communicating their wishes to someone they trust. Signed and written directives are recommended.
The conversation is not just for older people -
Advance care planning is often associated with ageing or terminal illness, but health professionals say it can be relevant to adults of all ages.
Western Sydney Local Health District says advance care planning is particularly important for people living with life-limiting illness, older people and those with particular cultural values or requirements, but stresses that it is for everyone.
That means a healthy person in their 20s, 30s, 40s or 50s can benefit from thinking about what matters to them just as much as someone in their later years.
An unexpected accident or illness can happen at any age.
Bringing death into the conversation-
Dying to Know Day activities across NSW have been designed to make the subject less confronting and give people practical information.
https://proveda.com.au/community-programs/dying-to-know/
Western Sydney Local Health District hosted a free community event at Stanhope Gardens Leisure Centre on August 7, covering advance care planning, end-of-life care, legal planning, grief and bereavement and community support services.
The broader campaign is not simply about preparing for death.
Advance Care Planning Australia says the conversations are ultimately about living with intention, clarity and connection.
For families, knowing what a loved one wants can also provide reassurance during an emotionally difficult time.
Blue Mountains Theatre and Community Hub in Springwood will host an in person, free Dying to Know Day event from 10am – 1pm on August 18th
Book here - https://www.amyfirth.com/book-events/dtkd26
Local death doula and death café facilitator Lisa Charnley, and Bianca Santucci from Barking with Bianca, will host an online event – Advance Life Care planning & pets – during August. Check The Crones Canopy and Barking with Bianca for the date to be advised.
https://www.facebook.com/LisaMarieCharnley
https://www.facebook.com/BarkingwithBianca
Hawkesbury’s regular death café will be held at Ori’s Bar, Windsor on August 26th at 6:30pm. The conversations are open hearted and filled with death literacy information, plus resources are available.
Start with one conversation -
For anyone who has been putting off the subject, experts suggest keeping the first conversation simple.
It could start with:
“If something happened to me and I couldn't speak for myself, what would you need to know?”
From there, families can talk about values, treatment preferences, who should be involved in decisions and where important documents are kept.
The conversation does not have to be completed in one sitting.
As Ms Gordon explained, for some people advance care planning takes several conversations rather than one formal discussion.
“You don’t need to have all the answers, just let them know what matters most to you and go from there,” she said.
For Hawkesbury families, that may be the most important message of Dying to Know Day: you do not have to know exactly what the future holds – but the people you love should know what matters to you.
FACT FILE: Five things to do
Talk: Tell someone you trust what matters most to you.
Think: Consider the healthcare you would want if you could no longer speak for yourself.
Document: Make an Advance Care Directive.
Share: Make sure your family, trusted decision-maker and relevant healthcare professionals know where your wishes are recorded.
Review: Revisit your plans when your health, circumstances or values change.
The Critical Info Platform is an Australian digital planning tool and certified social enterprise designed to help individuals organise end-of-life wishes, estate management details, personal paperwork and key emergency contacts in one secure, cloud based place.
A number of book resources are also available with well known “The bottom drawer book” being a popular choice amongst Australians.
https://thebottomdrawerbook.com.au/
For more information, NSW residents can access the NSW Government's information about making an Advance Care Directive and resources from Advance Care Planning Australia.
https://www.advancecareplanning.org.au/start-planning/record-your-choices/nsw
https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/patients/acp/Publications/acd-form-info-book.pdf
